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[witheredpeonies]

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[witheredpeonies]

"I might. But I'm not going looking for him right away. I have important things to take care of right now. Like you."

It seems no work is getting done right now. Which is alright, she accounted for emergencies.

[somebodychildofanyone]

"I gotta take care of you too," River murmurs, and with this she pokes Annabel in the ribs. "...Annabel, it's never been about 'enough' or 'not enough', not like that. When I've been scared, it's been...it's been because I'm afraid I can't be right for you, that I won't be able to understand, to help. I know I just said this but I'm gonna say it again - I'm not going to bring someone into your life that you can't respect."

"...Hell, in my perfect world they'd be someone you can be friends with. A blessing on your life. 's. Why I brought up Ryja, at least in part. I really think you're gonna like her a lot. Or. I hope you will."

[witheredpeonies]

"I hope so, too. But don't send her to me blindly, please." Huff-puff. "Also, I think I'm declaring lunch break. Or drink break, as the case may be."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Mmm. Yeah, okay," River agrees in a warm voice. "But can I hear more of what's -"

Pause.

"- love, please tell me you haven't been holding back with Jon for my sake."

[witheredpeonies]

"I wouldn't say I've been holding back, but part of that's the silly man taking his time with talking to me about what happened. But. I don't know what I'm doing with him. I don't have the words to explain what's going on there. And I've been nervous about exploring the matter."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"Let's get that brandy. Liquid courage." River presses a kiss to Annabel's forehead. "I don't know what I'm doing either, but maybe two heads are better than one."

[witheredpeonies]

"Liquid courage," Annabel agrees, separating from River to get two teacups, so they can swig their brandy like ladies.

[somebodychildofanyone]

Which leaves River to get it open. There's a not reducible amount of Knife in this process. "You know," she sorta-kinda grunts. "I forgot that there's fancy brandy? Quartermasters cut the water with the stuff, keeps it potable, shoulda seen the poor shopkeeper when I asked for brandy you don't do that with. Think I lost like fifteen minutes explaining its logistical use just so I didn't leave with her thinking I'm a lush."

[witheredpeonies]

"So you've never had the good stuff before? This will be a treat." She brings the cups over, along with some mildly stale croissants she'd intended to eat for breakfast and...just...never got around to?

[somebodychildofanyone]

"I'm supposed to be a rum kinda lass, by family tradition, but you know where it's hard to find rum? Giant holes in the ground. Still never had it." Her necromancer cred, it's in shambles. River pours, and lifts her cup for a toast. "To actually saying what we feel?"

[witheredpeonies]

"To things being out in the open." She clinks cups and takes a sip. "Unless there's more on the agenda to work out."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"I mean...maybe? I'm kinda wondering if you've actually been making friends. And, well. I never did try to explain anything but Tarantulas." River takes her sip and LOOK AT HER EARS ANNABEL THEY'RE SO HAPPY WITH THIS BRANDY - "Not sure I know how, though. Wish my sister was here. She's got a way with words."

[witheredpeonies]

Annabel will remember this.

"I'm usually good with words, but I don't have the full grasp on all the concepts in play, and that's the problem."

[somebodychildofanyone]

"I'm gonna try to express something, and it's gonna. Take a minute." River sips at her drink, staring at the brandy with intense concentration, but take heed: despite how hard she's thinking, River is still relaxed, her ears bobbing faintly. She's safe here. Something has been lifted from River, having these things out in the open.

[witheredpeonies]

"If you can't say it proper, say it poorly and we'll work from there."

Because she's at ease, too. Even hearing something mangled and rough is tolerable, in this moment.

[somebodychildofanyone]

A nod. At length, River puts her cup down, and closes her eyes. "I'm scared to die," she admits quietly. "Shit thing for a necromancer to be scared of, I know, but I am. You haven't seen it yet but there's a scar on my stomach...spear through the guts, I had no right to live. Still get nightmares, I hate it, but being alive, doing alive-person things, they help. Work, cuddling Eddie's chickens, a stiff drink, a good meal, sex...they stave off the fear."

"But you and Erik feel like home. That make any sense?"

[witheredpeonies]

"You're cheating on us with Bobbin?!" This melodramatic response is clearly and absolutely a joke.

And the 'us', that comes so easy, so naturally. Erik, at least, Annabel Lee has accepted as part of River's life and support network.

[somebodychildofanyone]

River squeezes Annabel's hand and with the kind of gravity you use to deliver news of a loved one's death, says: "She stole my heart."

[witheredpeonies]

"That thieving bitch! She'll be coq au vin by evening if I have anything to say about it!"

And then she dissolves into giggles.

[somebodychildofanyone]

Trying to keep her grave expression only makes River break down laughing faster, holding herself up with her palm against the table.

This, too, is life.

[witheredpeonies]

This is what life is about. This is joy, and mirth and everything Annabel has needed.

"I'm serious, though. I want to make a home with you."

[somebodychildofanyone]

Blink. Blink blink.

"I. Was trying to - like, moving in together?"

This mugs the River, who had rather been expecting either a lack of understanding or the sudden presence of understanding about the line she just tried to express between her lusts and her loves.

[witheredpeonies]

Beat.

"...I dunno, does that include hand massages with finger kisses and late night mugs of warm milk?"

[somebodychildofanyone]

"It'd fuckin' better, there's so much stuff to move either way but - where's this coming from?"

Her cheeks are red. Her ears are red. Her hair is - well, that was always red.

But it's not an unhappy red, even if the Practical Concerns can be seen behind River's eyes.

[witheredpeonies]

"Oh, part of it's that irrational desire to keep you. Not to hide you away or keep you from others, but. To know you'll come home to me when you come home. To give you space where you can be soft and silly and sweet. Where your ears can wiggle freely."

Yeah, no, it isn't a perfect answer. But it's an honest one.